Forgive Me Mother Essay

Its strange how memories of the past can be so terrifying. The themes and the occurring dreams argon al focuss similar. I would remember longing for a summer where the summers unwarranted would beam on my body with the warmth of the sun. Winter was worse because I was terrified by the c grizzly thick air that I would urge inside my thin body until it feels I was shivering to death. The feeling of creation al one and only(a) , I couldnt even sleep at dark with erupt being terrified not because of being alone , notwithstanding well-educated my life would dwell with no hope for me for the future. I would see paranormal faces of my father. The haunting face would stare at me with such gentle regard , yet sad. Its analogous he was watching over me. age ago when I had a family, loving yet annoyingly droll in a family sense that I miss. We were having dinner with the family with just me , my obtain and father. My mother was preparing the food and my father was coming home from w ork. However he neer came back and my mother was worried and panicked. I was still as well nave to understand the situation fully back then. Hell I dont even h old out how old I am any more than since Ive lost track of condemnation. I cried at firstborn because my mother was always the strong type in the family. It was the first time Ive seen her cry and the emotions inside of me wanted me to cry with her. He never came back and the authoritys told us he went missing. He was the supplier of the family and we were financially unstable.My mother had to look for work , so she left to the city. She told me she would bid me when she would be back. Once she left , the people who collects debt knocked on my door and seized the house. I had no place to go and so I left to go out shelter and food. I got hired a job in a local newspaper agency to hand out flyers to neighbour streets. It was so cold but I never gave up hoping my mother would arrange back and take care of me. She couldn t take me with her because she could only permit enough for herself to travel. We lived in a baseborn town surrounded by snow somewhere in the upper regions of South Korea.One solar day while I was sleeping in the corner of the streets. A world walked pass with a white hat and apron with a smiling on his cheeks. He looked at me for a couple of minutes. I was shake so I didnt look back at him out of fear. I hear footsteps coming towards me and I was about to run. He asked wherefore are you out in the streets alone at your age? , How old are you?. I replied in a low voice I dont know. He had a strange look on his face and asked me where my guardians was. I replied to him that I dont know either. He asked me more questions which I all replied I Dont know.I looked up and dictum his face. He was a old man with a beard and had a stick on him which looked wish well it was supporting him move. It was a silent cold night and Im not sure why he would be walking more or less at this time. He asked if I would like to work at his restaurant with cleaning and get paid for it.With nothing to lose I gladly accepted his offer. He took me to his place , it didnt seem what he express it was. The restaurant looked like a dump and I only saw girls on the front door outside of the restaurant wearing what looked like beach clothing in cold weather. I was suspicious but I had nowhere to go and I didnt know the way back from here. I followed the old man and he took me into a small mode with 10 other children. At first I thought he was taking care of us until there was only girls in the room coming in and out one by one with a man. This isnt a restaurant I suspected. I was repel and tried to leave but they didnt let me leave.Pushing and clamant to get out. They pulled me back , held both my hands and chucked me into a room by myself and locked the doors. Suddenly someone said *Calm down or they give punish you*. I stoped and looked for the source of the sound. The room had a little firing which leads to the other rooms. I whispered to the girl What is this place in a panicking voice. She told me it was a brothel where everyone gets kidnapped and rape for money by strangers. I asked her I was a male, what do they want from me? She told me she doesnt know either.I didnt want to find out , my life was already crumbling and now this. at that place was a medicine cabinet inside the room. I searched inside and make sleeping pills , I remember taking these when I lived with my parents. I could never sleep so the doctor prescribed me sleeping pills.I tried to sleep but I couldnt out of the fear what was difference to happen to me. I suggested to myself I should take these pills and ease things. I took the feeding bottle of medicine from the cabinet.One wasnt enough for me so I thought. I took more and more until I was feeling dizzy. I counted how many quantify and how much Ive taken. But I lost count and started again. I needed more and I needed my peaceful slumber. I was stir to think what was going to happen and kept taking more and more pills until I could feel the bottom of the container. My body begins to weaken and I could no longer feel my fingers. My eyelids begin to shutdown. Soon darkness was all I could see , I felt a hollowing in a room with darkness and suspended in time. Forgive me mother I hunch over you.